How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie - A Book Review

"There's far more information in a Smile than a frown. That's why encouragement is a much more effective teaching device than punishment."

Introduction:
GENRE: Fiction
AUTHOR: Dale Carnegie
PAGES: 278
YEAR OF PUBLISH: 1936

Dale Carnegie is an American writer, lecturer, and the developer of famous courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking, and interpersonal skills. Dale Carnegie was a poor farmer's boy and the second son of James William Carnegey and Amanda Elizabeth Harbinson. He was born in 1888 in Maryville, Missouri. His first job after college was to sell Correspondence courses to ranchers after which he moved on to selling bacon, lard and soap for Armour & Company. He soon started teaching a course in public speaking and how to influence people which became quite popular seeing hundreds of thousands of people seeking the course. This was simply because at that point in time there were philosophies but no concrete & practical methodologies which were taught.

The book is written in straight forward Chapter by Chapter format, each chapter comprising of one principle followed by real world examples of its implementation by - well known figures to people in normal corporate jobs taking the course. The prose of the book is quite simple to understand, and though the book was written in 1932, the principles are still as valid in the present time as they were in 1932. This could be attributed to the fact that human response or behaviour remains the same when subjected to certain conditions.

Principles:

The book is divided into four parts containing four different categories, each in-turn containing various principles about it. These are as follow:

Part One: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
1. "If you want to gather honey, don't kick over the beehive"
2. "The Big Secret of dealing with People"
3. ""He who can do this has the whole world with Him. He who cannot walks a lonely way"

Part Two: Six ways to make people like you
1. Do this and you'll be welcome anywhere
2. A Simple way to make a good first impression
3. If you don't do this, you are headed for trouble
4. An easy way to become a good conversationalist
5. How to interest people
6. How to make people like you Instantly

Part Three: How to win people to your way of thinking
1. You Can't Win an argument
2. A sure way of making Enemies - and how to avoid it
3. If you're wrong, admit it
4. A drop of honey
5. The secret of Socrates
6. The safety valve in Handling complaints
7. How to get cooperation
8. A formula that will work wonders for you
9. What everybody wants
10. An appeal that everybody likes
11. The movies do it. TV does it. Why don't you do it?
12. When nothing else works, try this

Part Four: Be a Leader: How to change people without giving offence or arousing resentment
1. If you must find fault, this is the way to begin
2. How to criticise - and not be hated for it
3. Talk about your own mistakes first
4. No one likes to take orders
5. Let the other person Save face
6. How to spur people on to Success
7. Give a dog a Good name
8. Make the fault seem easy to Correct
9. Making people glad to do what you want.

Most of the above principles written are kind of self-explanatory. However, Dale Carnegie iterates and re-iterates it in the book that these principles will not work if you wish to manipulate people. Only genuine interest works. This is because most of us can understand quite well when we are receiving false compliments. For "Of Course Flattery seldom works with discerning people. It is shallow, selfish and insincere. It ought to fail and it usually does. True, some people are so hungry, so thirsty, for appreciation that they will swallow anything, just as a starving man will eat grass and fish worms." Thus, in order to master these principles, one has to take the first step and be genuine and take an interest in other people. After all, that is the whole purpose of taking this course. Nothing appears magically and the only thing people are really interested in are themselves; it is the basic human behaviour.

Let me re-iterate this with an excerpt of the book giving an example:

"Look at the letters that come across your desk tomorrow morning," (emails, in the present context) "and you will find that most of them violate this important canon of common sense. Take this one, a letter written by the head of the radio department of an advertising agency with offices scattered across the continent. This letter was sent to the managers of local radio stations throughout the country. (I have set down, in brackets, my reactions to each paragraph.)

Mr. John Blank,
Blankville,
Indiana

Dear Mr. Blank:

The.company desires to retain its position in advertising agency leadership in the radio field.

[Who cares what your company desires? I am worried about my own problems. The bank is foreclosing the mortage on my house, the bugs are destroying the hollyhocks, the stock market tumbled yesterday. I missed the eight-fifteen this morning, I wasn't invited to the Jones's dance last night, the doctor tells me I have high blood pressure and neuritis and dandruff. And then what happens? I come down to the office this morning worried, open my mail and here is some little whippersnapper off in New York yapping about what his company wants. Bah! If he only realized what sort of impression his letter makes, he would get out of the advertising business and start manufacturing sheep dip.]

This agency's national advertising accounts were the bulwark of the network. Our subsequent clearances of station time have kept us at the top of agencies year after year.

[You are big and rich and right at the top, are you? So what? I don't give two whoops in Hades if you are as big as General Motors and General Electric and the General Staff of the U.S. Army all combined. If you had as much sense as a half-witted hummingbird, you would realize that I am interested in how big I am - not how big you are. All this talk about your enormous success makes me feel small and unimportant.]

We desire to service our accounts with the last word on radio station information.

[You desire! You desire. You unmitigated ass. I'm not interested in what you desire or what the President of the United States desires. Let me tell you once and for all that I am interested in what I desire - and you haven't said a word about that yet in this absurd letter of yours .]

Will you, therefore, put the.company on your preferred list for weekly station information - every single detail that will be useful to an agency in intelligently booking time.

["Preferred list." You have your nerve! You make me feel insignificant by your big talk about your company - nd then you ask me to put you on a "preferred" list, and you don't even say "please" when you ask it.]

A prompt acknowledgment of this letter, giving us your latest "doings," will be mutually helpful.

[You fool! You mail me a cheap form letter - a letter scattered far and wide like the autumn leaves - and you have the gall to ask me, when I am worried about the mortgage and the hollyhocks and my blood pressure, to sit down and dictate a personal note acknowledging your form letter - and you ask me to do it "promptly." What do you mean, "promptly"? Don't you know I am just as busy as you are - or, at least, I like to think I am. And while we are on the subject, who gave you the lordly right to order me around? ... You say it will be "mutually helpful." At last, at last, you have begun to see my viewpoint. But you are vague about how it will be to my advantage.]

Very truly yours,
John Doe
Manager Radio Department
P.S. The enclosed reprint from the Blankville Journal will be of interest to you, and you may want to broadcast it over your station.

[Finally, down here in the postscript, you mention something that may help me solve one of my problems. Why didn't you begin your letter with - but what's the use? Any advertising man who is guilty of perpetrating such drivel as you have sent me has something wrong with his medulla oblongata. You don't need a letter giving our latest doings. What you need is a quart of iodine in your thyroid gland.]

Now, if people who devote their lives to advertising and who pose as experts in the art of influencing people to buy - if they write a letter like that, what can we expect from the butcher and baker or the auto mechanic?"

Isn't that how we all think when we open our laptops and access our daily work emails? Let's be honest, we are all thinking along these lines - when we get our company's newsletters telling about how big they have become or they got the advertisement on Times square or how they got a new website up and running, and so on and so forth. And can you see what mistakes the companies are making in those newsletters or emails? I think it's self evident.

You have to take interest in people. Period. You have to talk about what they want, and not what you want - a mistake fatal to a Sales person's career. There are various principles that are talked about in the book but this is what forms the core of those principles to apply. These were followed by Lincoln to Rockefeller to any great man you know. These are being followed by the successful entrepreneur you see or even by a normal person in your office who have made great progress in his career of which you're so jealous of.

Conclusion:

Talking to the point, the book is worth reading. For everyone who are willing to make a change in their life, this book is worth its salt. The style of writing is simple and easy to understand to an average or even a new reader and the principles very practical. As they have stated in the book, you can read and re-read each chapter and can treat this book as a working handbook; or as they have stated in the book:

In order to get the most out of this book:
a. Develop a deep, driving desire to master the principles of human relations,
b. Read each chapter twice before going on to the next one.
c. As you read, stop frequently to ask yourself how you can apply each suggestion.
d. Underscore each important idea.
e. Review this book each month.
f. Apply these principles at every opportunity. Use this volume as a working handbook to help you solve your daily problems.
g. Make a lively game out of your learning by offering some friend a dime or a dollar every time he or she catches you violating one of these principles.
h. Check up each week on the progress you are making. Ask yourself what mistakes you have made, what improvement, what lessons you have learned for the future.
i. Keep notes in the back of this book showing how and when you have applied these principles.

I highly recommend this book. A Timeless bestseller indeed!

You can also read a short version of this review on Blogger.

A Thing called Hope

Those times of chaos, when, your mind's berated.
That wilderness grows, overpowering,
You venture about, lost, misdirected,
Deeper in the woods;
Deeper! Steeper!

But beware, the deeper you go,
more the light fades
and the gloom transcends,
from that foreboding moderate,
to the despondent melancholy.
The fire foes out,
the ashes remain, smouldering.

But fear not, O' brave heart,
the ashes will smolder,
Forget, and on.
Cease them, you know them.
These are the thoughts,
that floats you on;
on those waters deep, where
you get smothered.
Or in those woods where,
the silence is stifling
and this predator looms about
in the shadows, and,
you hear the beating,
the grafting rhythm of your heart.

But listen, O' valiant soul,
there may be no light,
to guide you back to
your isle of joy, of happiness,
and away from these woods of loathing
from these waters of depression, of sadness.

But there always is,
that path you traversed,
and there will always be
A thing called Hope.

A Man called Ove - A Book Review

"Men are what they are because of what they do. Not what they say."

Introduction:
GENRE: Fiction
AUTHOR: Fredrik Backman
PAGES: 337
YEAR OF PUBLISH: 2012

A Man Called Ove was published in English in 2013 written by Swedish Columnist, blogger and writer Fredrik Bachman. The book became an instant bestseller which sold millions of copies worldwide. When the English version of the book was released, it went on the New York Times Bestsellers list and stayed there for 42 weeks! The character of Ove created by Fredik Bachman became widely loved and admired by all.

The above quote is just what Ove believes in. Well why wouldn't he? The world has become full of those incompetent idiots with their big phones, ignoring signs, fools who cannot drive a manual car as if its rocket science and IT consultants who cannot even reverse a small Chinese car with a trailer attached. Not that Ove liked chinese cars. For him, one can tell what kind of a man a person is by the sort of car he drives. Ove is a very particular man who likes to do things the right way and want others to do the same. He is a stickler for rules. "Rules are Rules afterall".

On first note Ove will seem like a cranky old man. It was when you dive deeper into the book and get to know him better that you couldn't help admiring Ove and his ways. He is a sort of man who will call an Idiot a idiot on their face, a man with zero political correctness and zero tolerance for anything or anyone who does not do things properly.

Plot:

The book begins by Ove trying to buy an Ipad. He asks the Sales assistant while shaking the white box and eyeing it suspiciously if this is one of those 'O-pads'. The assistant confirms that it is an 'I-pad'. Ove asks that it is a computer then. The sales assistant is nods and then shakes his head and tells Ove that some people call it a tablet and some a surfing device. But Ove just want a good computer, how hard is that to understand? Well after Ove uses some choice words for the Sales assistant and storms out, the book makes the reader to start forming opinions about Ove. But the person who forms an opinion about Ove is in for a surprise as he moves on to the upcoming chapters.

Ove is living alone after his wife passed away after a long illness. She was the only person whom he has ever loved. Ove's mother passed away when he was a boy and so he lived with his father. His father who worked for the railways was a man of principles. A man who stuck to his set code of ethics, a man who did things with his hands and Ove learned the same. To quote an excerpt from the book -

His father never raised his fists. Not to Ove or anyone else. Ove had classmates who came to school with black eyes or bruises from a belt buckle after a thrashing. But never Ove. "We don't fight in this family", his father used to state. "Not with each other or anyone else."

He was well liked down at the railway, quiet but kind. There were some who said he was "too kind."

Or to get an even better understanding -

That year, to stop him from rattling around the house on his own, he also started going with his father to work at the railway yard after school. It was filthy work and badly paid, but, as his father used to mutter, "It's an honest job and that's worth something."

Once Ove found a wallet with more than 6000 Kronor while cleaning a train coach. He worked for a man named Tom who was dishonest and not at all liked among his colleagues. They both were in the coach at that moment, when Tom saw it - he was ready to raise his fists on Ove. That's when Ove's father interjected in between and Tom backed down. Ove's father asked Ove that it is his decision for what to do with the wallet and Ove chooses to submit the wallet in the Lost property office and when the woman behind the counter who couldn't believe her eyes and says not many people have ever handed back the money, Ove's father replied, "Many people don't have no decency either". And that's how Ove went on - doing not what is likeable but what the honest and decent thing was to be done.

The book goes on with Ove trying to commit suicide not because he was depressed in a crying all the time sort of way but because he truly & honestly and in all rationality could not see the point of keeping on living without his wife in this world where people easily replace their cars with a different brand and do not know how to do things with their own two hands. Ove fails every time. He also has a new neighbor - a software consultant with a middle eastern pregnant wife called Parvenah and two kids - people who cannot reverse a car with a trailer. With time, Parvaneh is persistent to be make Ove their friend. And Ove being who he is, retorts and complains but always does what is the right thing to do. Their is also Jimmy, another of Ove's overweight geeky neighbor for whom Ove's wife cared for when his mother died.

And that is just a small sneak peek at who Ove is. Undoubtedly, Fredrik Backman has penned one of the very lovable character in literature. If you're going to read this book beware, this is going to touch your heart in one way or another and I think that is why it was hailed so much when it appeared in the market and keeps on selling even to this day. We all need a character like Ove who says what is right not what is convenient and who does the honorable thing, in this time when everything is becoming so 'Politically correct'.

The book is written in such a way that each line will keep you entertained and engrossed in it and is filled with so many wonderful lines that will just mesmerize you. For instance -

1. "Ove, only a swine thinks size and strength are the same thing. Remember that." And Ove never forgot it.

2. People also called him antisocial. Ove assumed this meant he wasn't overly keen on people. And in this instance he could totally agree with them, More often that not people were out of their minds.

3. We always think there’s enough time to do things with other people. Time to say things to them. And then something happens and then we stand there holding on to words like ‘if’.

One of my favorites -

4. Ove feels an instinctive skepticism towards all people taller than six feet; the blood can’t quite make it all the way up to the brain.

And for our readers who lean more towards the Romance genre -

5. He was a man of black and white. And she was color. All the color he had.

I became so attached to Backman’s character that there was so little I could do to stop reading. I was reading while I was having my food, I was reading in between my office tasks and I was reading when I was not sleeping.

It would not be wrong to say that no matter what kind of a person you are, if you're a reader then this book will manage to pull at some emotional cord in you. And what would become of human race if it was not for emotions!

A must read bestseller!

Life on Earth

If ever there will be a world,
where water will hold no life,
and when poured in a glittering bowl,
it will not be nectar but a knife.
And when there will come such a stage,
when the mornings will have no chimes
even when the bells were rung,
a dreary cacophony all the time.

The noons then be filled by scorching heat,
searing new wounds on barren soil,
blazing over the burnt out remains,
and earth covered with grime and boils.
The mist will have no place to roam,
nor will it moisten any yellowing leaves,
at that time no flower will bloom,
there will just be smoke from dead-burning trees.

The evenings will have no time to adjust,
for the silence that will stray the grounds,
no shouts of joy or lamenting cries heard as such,
and sand castles will be just rocky mounds.
There will be no prayers no bowing heads,
no pain will there be, but also no joy,
no cooing cribs, no old time beds,
no miracles of birth and noone grieving the dead.

When this will come to pass,
that the sun will burn and not shine,
the land will be burnt-blackened rocks,
the ocean - just a vast lifeless brine.

At that time too the earth will be round,
and it will keep revolving without a sound,
the moon will keep an impassive gaze,
the stars will overwatch in a daze.
At that time it will take a few years,
which are nothing in this big cosmic gear,
nature will play its role on this grand-a-stage,
and life will again surely find its way.

What are we now to learn from this?
That, we are just Minuscule in the scheme of things,
even when there is nothing one can find,
something will be born from what's left behind.
And life will again take its place,
and earth will regain its healthy tone,
the oceans will spill and land will breathe,
and we will again learn to live by striking stones.

अहिल्या

इस धरा की बात है खास
खुद भगवान उतरे यहां सबके साथ।
जब कभी अंधकार घिर आता है,
मानव नीचे गिरता जाता है,
भूमि से हरि को ही पुकारता है,
अधर्म से मुक्ति को अकुलाता है।

त्रेता में जब यह नाद हुआ,
पाप से सत्कर्म जब बर्बाद हुआ
भीक्षण आंधी उड़ती आती थी,
सात्विकता नष्ट कर ले जाती थी।

ऋषियों का जीना दूभर हुआ जाता था,
पापियों का अठ्ठाहस गूंजता जाता था,
कोई महात्मा कहीं आसरा न पाता था,
रावण से सम्पूर्ण त्रिलोक थर्राता था।

यह देख हरि मुस्काये थे,
धरती पर मनुष्य रूप में आये थे,
ऋषिगण फूले न समाये थे,
स्वयं ब्रह्मा जिनको शीश नवाये थे।
वो जो कण-कण में बसते हैं,
जिनका नाम स्वयं महादेव जपते हैं।

किन्तु फिर भी कई मानव अज्ञानता वश,
इस पुण्य कथा का फैलाते अपयश,
असत्य, अधर्म के जो अनुयायी हैं,
स्वयं नीचता और कलियुग की परछाईं हैं।

परंतु ज्ञानी कभी अधीर न होता है,
राम नाम से जागता है और
राम नाम से सोता है।
यह ऐसा महाकाव्य है एक,
अनेक धर्ममार्ग का निश्चल भाव है एक।

जो सुनता उनकी कथा को है,
भूल जाता अपनी व्यथा को है,
भावविभोर उनके चरित्र का गुणगान करता है,
अहम का त्याग निःसंकोच कर उठता है।

मगर फिर भी कई असमंजस में आते हैं,
मूलतः कथाओं से अनभिज्ञ हो,
गलत समझते और समझाते हैं।

आज देखेंगे अहिल्या की कथा की जो सच्चाई थी,
विश्वामित्र ने मिथिला की राह में श्रीराम को सुनाई थी।
तो आगे की बात को समझियेगा,
फिर भी कोई प्रश्न रहे तो कहियेगा।

माया से जो कुछ मनुष्य पाता है,
उसका दोहरा चरित्र भूलता जाता है।
प्रेम, सुख, सुंदरता, ज्ञान, बल आदि सदाचार, से
जन्मते हैं कामना, भय, लोभ, निर्लज्जता, अहंकार।

तो आगमन करें कथा का जैसे सब करते थे,
मिथिला नगरी के पास ही ऋषि गौतम रहते थे।
बड़े सदाचारी, ज्ञानी, प्रभु के ध्यान में मग्न रहते थे,
सप्तऋषियों में एक, धर्म मार्ग पर अड़े थे।
सत्कर्म, ज्ञान, गुण, भक्ति हर तरह,
आम लोगों से वे बहुत बड़े थे।
एक आश्रम था -
अहिल्या से प्रणय सूत्र में बंधे थे।

लो ध्यान से अब आगे सुनो,
आज पूरी कथा समझाता हूँ,
श्रीराम के चरित्र पर लांछन लगाते
कुछ नासमझों की शंका मिटाता हूँ।

अहिल्या जब एक कुमारी थी,
ब्रह्मा जी की पुत्री थी,
वरदान से आजीवन परम् सुंदर नारी थी।
देव, असुर, ऋषिगण आदि -
सब विवाह के अभिलाषी थे,
अधिकांश सिर्फ बाहरी सौंदर्य पर मोहित हो
नष्ट बुद्धि से केवल काम-इच्छा के प्रार्थी थे।

तब ब्रह्मा जी ने ये बात रखी,
उत्तम वर खोजने की चाल चली,
बोले, "जो समस्त ब्रह्मांड का चक्कर सर्वप्रथम लगा आएगा,
वही श्रेष्ठ हो अहिल्या से विवाह कर पायेगा"।

ऋषि गौतम इस कार्य में विजयी हुए,
एक गाय, नवजात बछड़े और शिवलिंग की
परिक्रमा कर अग्रणी हुए।
वह गाय, बछड़ा समेत पूरी पृथ्वी को दर्शाती थी,
जो हर जीव को जन्म देकर,
पालन-पोषण करती जाती थी।
शिवलिंग समेत वे संसार के जीवन चक्र को दर्शाते हैं,
जीव जन्म, कर्म और मृत्यु से परम धाम को जाते हैं।

इस तरह अहिल्या का विवाह संपन्न हुआ,
इस तरह देव और असुरों का घमंड भंग हुआ।

अहिल्या भी अत्यंत ज्ञानी थी,
ब्रह्मपुत्री तो थी,
मगर अपने सौंदर्य की अभिमानी थी।
मनुष्य जब किसी ऊंचे पद को पाता है,
अभिमान की गहरी खाई में,
उतना ही गिरता जाता है।

इधर इंद्र के मन में सनक थी,
ऋषि गौतम के दिनचर्या की भनक थी।
आश्रम जब उनकी उपस्थिति-विहीन हो जाता है,
इंद्र ऋषि का वेश धरकर आता है,
उदविघ्न हो अहिल्या को पुकारता है,
वासना के वशीभूत धर्म-अधर्म भूल जाता है।
मन मे तीव्र कामना से वेश का खयाल भी उतर जाता है,
और फिर अधीर हो वह मिलन की इच्छा को दर्शाता है।

अहिल्या जब समक्ष आती है,
इंद्र को ऋषि गौतम के रूप में पाती है,
उसके असली स्वरूप को पहचान जाती है,
पर मन ही मन मुस्कुराती है।
वो अपने सौंदर्य के मद में चूर हुई,
धर्म-पथ से उस क्षण वह दूर हुई।
सोचती, "परिस्थिति मेरी सुंदरता की साक्षी है,
आज स्वयं सुरपति मेरा अभिलाषी है,
कहाँ एक साधारण मुनि दरिद्र अभागा है,
और कहां एक इंद्रलोक का राजा है"।

मगर नियति की यह बात हुई,
ऋषि गौतम की ढोंगी से मुलाकात हुई।
काम-इच्छा पूर्ण कर इंद्र बाहर जब आता है,
ऋषि को अपने समक्ष वह पाता है।
ऋषि को हाय! परिस्थिति का ज्ञान हो जाता है,
मन क्रोध, घृणा और पीड़ा से भर जाता है।

(अब वे दोनों को श्राप देते हैं और अहिल्या को बताते हैं के त्रेता में श्रीराम ही उद्धार करेंगे।)

जिह्वा से जब पीड़ादायी वाक्य निकल जाते हैं,
व्यक्ति के सत्कर्मो को नष्ट करते जाते हैं,
ऋषि गौतम अतः आश्रम को छोड़ चले,
प्रायश्चित को हिमालय की ओर चले।

त्रेता में श्रीराम तब आये थे,
अहिल्या का उद्धार कर नैतिकता का पाठ पढ़ाये थे।

इस कथा में हर एक कार्य के कारण हैं,
ये तो बस धर्म-अधर्म का एक उदाहरण है।
जिनके चरणों की छाप से कई किरदारों के पाप धुले,
उनकी अनुकंपा से, हमको भी बैकुंठ धाम मिले।

मृत्यु से मुलाकात

निकल पड़ा मैं घर से किसी बात पे,
क्रोधित था मन उस दिन दुनिया के हालात पे,
उचटा हुआ मन लिए पहुंचा एक सूने मैदान में,
सहसा सन्नाटे से ठिठका, हुआ थोड़ा हैरान मैं ।

दूर दूर तक न कोई मनुष्य नज़र आता था,
न ही आकाश से कोई पंछी चहचहाता था,
रोशनी भी धीरे धीरे ढल रही थी,
धूल समेटे हुए हवा भी मंद-मंद चल रही थी।

हवा का बहाव भी ठहरता हुआ सा जाता था,
"कौन हूं मैं?", क्रोधित मन यह भूलता सा जाता था।
इससे पहले अस्तित्व की यादें मिटने को उठे
एक हल्का सा साया नज़दीक महसूस हुआ जाता था।

समझा कोई है धूर्त वहां, जो विघ्न डालने आता था,
बिन समझ-बूझ मैं उससे संवाद छेड़ता जाता था -

"है कौन मूर्ख वहां बतलाओ,
अपना चेहरा मुझे दिखलाओ।
जानते नहीं तुम कौन हूँ मैं?
पहचानते नहीं कौन हूँ मैं?
किस आशय से नज़दीक आते हो?
साये की तरह पीछे लहराते हो।

मैं यहां का हूँ मसीहा,
मैं वो ज्ञानी शख्स हूँ,
अभिनंदनीय हूँ मैं यहां सभी का,
लोग कहते मैं ब्रह्म का अक्स हूँ।

तू होता कौन यहां जो सहसा मुझे चौंकाता है?
मेरे चिंतन में बाधा बन खुद को मुझसे छुपाता है!
मेरे पास इतना धन-धान्य भरा,
तेरा भी मोल करा सकता हूँ,
मेरा यहां अधिकार बड़ा,
तुझे बिकवा भी सकता हूँ।
यहां अधिपत्य है मेरा
जहां मन हो वहां मेरा डेरा है,
यदि झुक जाए तू मेरे सम्मुख,
हर ऐश्वर्य तुझे दिला सकता हूँ।

मुख खोल कर जवाब दे,
पक्षधर होने का प्रमाण दे!"

जैसे एक बिजली कौंध गयी,
हो प्रकृति जैसे मौन गयी
कानों से एक विचित्र स्वर टकराया था
हर अणु में रोमांच भर आया था।
अट्ठहास कर वह बोला, "समझता तू खुद को अति ज्ञानी है
शरीर को समझता पहचान अपनी, मनुष्य, तू बाद अज्ञानी है!
चल तुझको सत्य बताता हूँ,
तुझसे अपना परिचय करवाता हूँ।
मैं हूँ लोभरहित, मुझको कुबेर तक नहीं मोह सकता है,
है तेरी क्या बिसात बालक, तू तो अभी बहुत ही कच्चा है।

सोचता है तू, मुझको संपत्ति धन-धान्य दिखायेगा,
किस काम आएंगे ये जब तू मेरे साथ चला जायेगा?
मैं हूँ वह जिससे थर्राता यह लोक तेरा,
मैं हूँ वह, जो तेरा शरीर यहाँ मिटने छोड़ जाता हूँ,
तेरे हृदय में हाथ डाल प्राण निकाल ले जाता हूँ।

मैं यम का हूँ दास बड़ा,
मैं कभी नहीं बिक सकता हूँ,
मैं अंतर करता नहीं, उचित समय पर -
हर जीव के प्राण हर सकता हूँ।
मैं हूँ अखंड, पुरातन, काल के साथ ही मैं सदैव चलता हूँ,
जन्म जो लेता है सृष्टि में,
मुक्त करने उसको निकलता हूँ।

पूरे ब्रह्मांड में है वास मेरा,
मैं हर घड़ी चलता रहता हूँ,
अस्थिर रहके एक समय,
एकाधिक स्थानों पे मैं बसता हूँ।
छूट नहीं सकता है कोई मुझसे,
मैं वह जीवन की सच्चाई हूँ,
जीवन-मरण के चक्र का अभिन्न अंग,
माया की देता मैं दुहाई हूँ।

महादेव के तांडव का अंत हूँ मैं,
ब्रह्मा के चेतन की अगुवाई हूँ,
श्रीराम के चरणों का दास हूँ मैं,
श्रीकृष्ण के विश्वरूप की गवाही हूँ।
दास हूँ मगर फिर भी श्रीराम को लेने मैं आया था,
और सीता जी को भी मैंने वापस बैकुंठ पहुंचाया था।
तीर की शैया पर लेटे हुए भीष्म की मुझसे विनती थी,
मैं आया तब भी था, बस उचित समय उनकी अपनी गिनती थी।

द्वापर युग के अंत के लिए भी मैं ही क्षमा-प्रार्थी था,
गांधारी के श्राप से झुका था मैं,
जाने को इस लोक से स्वयं श्रीकृष्ण ने, बनाया अपना सारथी था।
रावण का अभिमान भी मैं था,
लंका में अग्निकांड भी मैं था,
श्री हनुमान के वारों से,
असुरों का उत्थान भी मैं था।
दुर्योधन की ज़िद और झूठी शान भी मैं था,
कर्ण का वह महादान भी मैं था,
अभिमन्यु हत्या के पाप का फल,
द्रौपदी के पांचों पुत्रों की जान भी मैं था।
धृतराष्ट का अंधा राज मोह,
कुरुक्षेत्र में शंखनाद भी मैं था,
और, अर्जुन के गांडीव से निकले बाण भी मैं था।

अतः हे मानव! मुझे तू नहीं खरीद सकता है,
मेरा मोल न तो इतना भी सस्ता है।
इसलिए, सही कर्मों की आदत को बनाना होगा,
दूसरों के लिए जीना तुझे अपना लक्ष्य बनाना होगा,
क्योंकि मेरा परिचय स्मरण रहे-
जिसने जन्म लिया है, उसे एक दिन तो जाना होगा।

विपक्ष की बात

भारतवर्ष की भूमि पर
जब शीत ऋतु लहराती थी,
असावधान बैठी देहों पर,
क्रूरता बरसाती जाती थी।

हंसते-रोते, चलते-सोते रोजमर्रा के जीवन ढोते,
लोगों के जीवन मे एक दिन आया ऐसा निराला था
लोकतंत्र का गान करके कुछ जनों ने,
देश के हृदय पर तेज़ चुभोया एक भाला था।
सुबह का अखबार जैसे अपने साथ उल्टी स्वतंत्रता लाया था,
लगता था ठंड ने कुछ लोगों का दिमाग भी हिलाया था।

विस्मय से देखते थे भारत के मनुज स्वाभिमानी,
बाहर निकले लोगों को करते विकृत नादानी,
विभाजन करवाने वालों की बातों में वे फंसते थे,
सत्ता के लिए राजनीति खेलने वाले देख हंसते थे।

(सत्ता के लिए राजनीति खेलने वाले?)

अब इनके बारे में क्या बताऊं,
ये हैं ऐसे महान भारतवासी जो -
राष्ट्रहित्कारी नीतियों का विरोध करने से पीछे नहीं ये हटते हैं,
असत्य का प्रचार करके, मगरमच्छ के आंसू बिलखते हैं
किस हद तक गिर सकते हैं ये - इतिहास इसकी गवाही है
डाह-द्वेष की मुस्कान चेहरे पर - इनके प्रयोजन साफ झलकते हैं।

ये वही हैं, अनगिनत दफा जिन्होंने  अधिकार जनता का मारा था,
कान बंद कर लेते थे ये जब-जब सरहद के जवानों ने इन्हें पुकारा था,

बदले में आर्मी चीफ को गली का गुंडा कह दुत्कारा था।

मेरे वामपंथी मित्रों ध्यान से सुनो, आज मैं तुम्हें बताता हूँ,
एक-एक करके इन "बुद्धिजीवियों" की आज मैं लंका लगाता हूँ।

निशाचरी शक्ति तीव्र है इनमे इसके प्रमाण चाहते हो?
भोपाल गैस त्रासदी में रातोंरात एंडरसन को फरार करवाना भूल जाते हो।
2G, 3G, commonwealth, आदि तो हैं अभी की बातें,
आओ इतिहास से निकलते हैं हम इनकी कुछ पुरानी यादें।
कुछ बुद्धिजीवी कहते हैं इन्होंने आज़ादी दिलवाई थी,
और स्वतंत्रता की सारी योजनाएं सिर्फ इनके अंतर से आई थी।
इनकी दलीलें तो शायद कुछ नासमझों के लिए भारी है,
ये सब मानने वालों की तो गयी मति मूढ़ की मारी है।

स्वतंत्रता का अर्थ इनको समझाना आसान नहीं,
सीधे समझ नहीं ये पाते हैं,
जिस थाली में खाते हैं,
छेद उसी में करते जाते हैं।

याद है? जब राष्ट्रीय संघ ने निषेधाधिकार (मतलब वीटो पावर) का प्रस्ताव हमें बढ़ाया था,
विचारहीन होकर चीन से मैत्री के नाम उसे गंवाया था
कितना समय लगा था फिर चीन को पलटने में?
कितना समय लगा फिर भारत के गले मे फांस अटकने में?

असहयोग आंदोलन भी अधूरा रखा था चौरी-चौरा के एवज से,
नेताजी को भी मजबूर किया था अकारण , बेवजह से,
जब यहां राजनीति खेलते किसने वचन निभाया था?
वो उधम सिंह था जिसने ड्वायर को इंग्लैंड जाकर उड़ाया था।

चलो थोड़ा और आगे आते हैं, इनकी हरकतें नज़र में लाते हैं,
जब सरदार पटेल ने पांच सौ बासठ राज्यों को भारत में मिलाया था,
तब अंदरूनी होने के बावजूद भी, किसने,
कश्मीर राष्ट्रीय संघ ले जा कर भड़काया था?

किसने सत्ता के लिए देश मे आपातकाल लगवाया था?
किसने दिल्ली में सिखों का नरसंघार करवाया था?
किसने धर्म और जाति को राजनीति में मुद्दा बनाया था?
किसने कश्मीरी पंडितों की चीख-पुकार अनसुना कर दबाया था?

ये तो कुछ नहीं, इनकी कई शर्मसार हैं बातें,
क्यों सुनते हो इनकी, झूठ बोल ये जनता को बरगलाते?
अफवाह फैलाना धर्म है इनका, दंगा करवाना जाति है,
असत्य-चालबाज़ी की आग लगाते जो स्वयं फैलती जाती है।

(ये लोग जिनको पता कुछ नहीं और दूसरों की बातों में आकर विरोध कर रहे, लाखों का फोन चलाते और मुफ्त का सरकारी कागज़ नहीं पढ़ सकते?) तो-

सत्य की परख करना चाहते हो अगर,
झूठ से पर्दा उठाना चाहते हो अगर,
तो स्वयं जांच करो तथ्यों के आधार पर
अन्यथा विरोध कारगर नहीं होता,
होता है दिखावटी, बेवजह और निराधार पर।

विरोध नहीं कहलाता है राष्ट्र को तोड़ना-जलाना-नुकसान करना
यह कहलाता हैं - स्वतंत्रता और संविधान की हत्या करना।

If you're an Indian, then after reading this does these words go through your head?

Corrupt Congress. Corrupt opposition parties. Liberals. Anti-nationals.

Chances

Take your chances, O' lonely soul,
Lest the passions are abating,
Seek the comforts of present not the past, for
The time rushes while these keep on debating.

Worried of the chances that you will lose?
But equal are that of winning, if not more,
What use is such caution in what to choose?
When you remain stuck, stagnant & quite unsure!

Life is short and keeps on fleeting,
While we keep worrying if it will work or won't,
What is the point of doubting & bleating?
When it's our effort that it'll do or don't!

Immortal Talks - A Book Review

“Are you aware that you are not a body? You have a body.” chorused the elder Mahtangs.

Introduction:
GENRE: Spirituality
AUTHOR: Shunya
PAGES:160
YEAR OF PUBLISH: 2017

Mahtangs (better known as Mathangs) are the tribal people residing in the forests of Mount Piduru in Sri Lanka. This tribe, similar to the sentinelese, choose to be cut off from modern civilisation but save for this they cannot be more different from the sentinelese. Mathangs are the followers of Lord Hanuman and descendants of Vibhishana, the brother of Ravana from The Ramayana. Apart from this, the Mathangs are said to be very spiritual and with good reason. It is said that the Mathangs are visited by Lord Hanuman in every 41 years. Quite interesting isn’t it?

All of this came to light in the year 2014 when a researcher was studying the behavior of the tribe and completely oblivious at the time as to what he was going to find! Fascinating!

Lord Hanuman is said to be among the 7 people who are said to be immortal. It is believed that every 41 years Lord Hanuman visits the tribe to teach and imbue divine knowledge to them. The Mathangs record the teaching of Lord Hanuman every 41 years in a Log book. Fortunately, the log book is now with an organization called ‘Setu Asia’which is trying to translate the book. Okay this was a short introduction to who the Mahtangs (or Mathangs) really are. Now let’s jump on to the book.

Summary:

The book begins with Hanudas, a devotee of Lord Hanuman, who along with 2 other devotees is following some tribal people in order to observe and try to establish communication with them. Hanudas used to live an elite lifestyle with his family in Toronto and was neither religious nor spiritual. His wife dies in a car accident and later he loses his only son to drugs and paranoid schizophrenia. This leaves him to be completely hollow – ‘like a hoop which lets things pass through it. No sorrow. No pain. No regret.’ It was then that he encounters an unusual scene. He leaves for India and comes in contact with a Guru who gives him the name ‘Hanudas’ and explains to him that it was not a hallucination indeed. Gurudev explains it was because only pure souls can experience that. He explains that Hanudas encountered such a scene because after his son’s funeral his mind was absolutely blank, completely free and detached from everything the external world has to offer –

‘Your soul, like the majority of humans of this era, is asleep. Your soul awoke for a brief period of time on the day you buried your son’

After that moment he experiences a divine epiphany and leaves to wander – in search of nothing – in a pursuit to awaken his soul. He eventually feels that he has reached his destination when he comes across this tribe known as ‘Mahtangs’. He along with 2 more sages tries to approach the tribe but are rebuked by the leader and hence finds himself following and observing the tribe. Very soon he deciphers the meaning of the set of seven symbols he had collected from the Mahtangs. It translated as follows: ‘The immortal Lord Hanuman comes every 41 years to impart supreme knowledge to his disciples, the Mahtangs’. Over the course of next several months, he collected thousands of such symbols, or the puzzles wherin lay enshrined the entire knowledge Lord Hanuman imparted to his disciples.
He, with the help of other sages, deciphers these puzzles and documents them. These finding are henceforth explained in the form of different chapters in this book.

My Review:

The religion – Hinduism (it actually is Sanatan Dharma) – is the oldest religion that exists today. It is the only religion in which even if you are an atheist, you are still a Hindu. It is the choice of the seeker whichever and whatever form of god he/she wants to embrace. Even the belief that he/she does not believe in god is a form of belief and hence that person is still a Hindu. It is a religion which is based on the practice of looking for the absolute truth which involves science more than anything. I will not be exaggerating when I confidently claim that all the things that modern science is discovering now has already been mentioned in the Vedas and Upanishads many thousands of years ago. It is more about Spirituality than being a ‘Religion’ in the strictest sense of the meaning of the word, and is FAR different from what is perceived by the masses. It is a way of Life, which is clearly evident by the contents of this book.

The book is written in a very simplistic manner which enables the reader to understand even the most complex workings of the truth of what the soul is, what is life, the movement of the soul from one body to another, the life and death cycle, the Karma-Desire, etc. If I have to describe my experience of reading this book in one word, I will choose – enlightening. The way in which everything was explained is very simple and effective. The reader is able to imagine every scene as if it is happening right before their eyes. The way in which everything is explained is extraordinarily simple, effective and quite enjoyable at the same time. The prologue of the book describes how Hanudas comes to find all the symbols and puzzles and the rest of the book in chapters and in the form of stories of the same tribe explains the subtleties of the extraordinary way in which the universe works, who we are and how to get out of this endless cycle of birth and death in Maya.

Those of you do not know, Maya is everything you experience. It is everything that you sense i.e., see, feel, hear, taste, touch. Maya is said to be an illusion. It is the physical world which follows the rules of space-time and the human soul which is stuck in this Maya thinking that it is the only reality experiences endless cycle of birth and death. The purpose of the human soul is to break this cycle and attain Moksha viz., unification with the absolute – the Bramh.

The book along with this also explains what the soul really is. How it goes from one body to another and what it experiences when it is out of a body. Not only this, the book also explains the type of souls there are, what are the characteristics of the soul which resides in birds, animals and humans. The struggle between the soul to be free from the shackles of birth and death and the limitations posed by the human body which understands this world to be the only reality and the Karma-Desire scale of balance is beautifully explained in one of the chapters titled ‘The Mermaid’ in the form of a story.

I definitely enjoyed reading this book. I’d say that it must be read at least once in a lifetime irrespective of which religion, caste or sex you belong to, or what belief system you have. Read this with an open mind because as the Vedas says, there is only one absolute truth rest everything is different realities varying from person to person.

You should have a Wife?

When I was happy without any strife,
when I had no qualms with life.
Then it was deemed by people to advise,
"Boy, you should have a wife!"

I search for joy and for truth,
and go for adventures in my youth.
And yet it was deemed by them to be so rife,
so people told me to have a wife.

But I am gratified in this solo ride,
those society's rules I do not wish to abide.
Yet they say in whispers sly,
"Man! You must have a wife."

I weep when I'm sad in heart's lament,
I also laugh out loud to my heart's content.
Why should I abandon these strange delights?
I do not understand why I should have a wife!

I can wake up at midnight and go for a ride,
I can spend my day washing my bike.
Why should I give up, for misery, this freedom of choice?
Why? Tell me why I should have a wife?

The Mango Tree

There I was, sitting under the Mango tree planted in the front yard of my home. My track pant was smudged with earth along with my T-shirt as if I had been rolling around in the mud but I couldn’t care less. I used to live in one of those big government quarters provided by the Indian Railways to its employees. Mine had a few trees in the front yard, enclosed inside the boundary made by the thick Iron wire fence. It was the time of summer holidays, a time when I could ignore the massive amount of homework that had been given to us by our sadistic teachers (Pun intended) and quite simply spent my day loitering around in my front yard or if it was too hot outside, playing video games or watching movies on repeat from the collection of movies I collected over time in the form of CDs. DVD players were still new in the market at that time and used to cost a lot, we had a CD player which we never upgraded.

I sat there and I noticed a mango hanging from a branch. There were many mangos on the tree, it being the start of summer, but this one was ripe and yellow as opposed to all the other green ones and was somehow unscathed from the taste buds of parrots and other birds. I kept gazing at it for a few seconds. It was quite high and I was never a good climber. I gave sweeping look to the branches that were closest to the ground but there were no ripe mangos there. The rarity of this one mango fathered the desire to possess and eat it. The knowledge that fruits, especially from this tree, being delicious intensified the desire even more. I had to eat it!

Therefore, to achieve this I started formulating ways with which I can get it. I picked up a stone and threw it at the mango. It narrowly missed. However, after one throw I immediately abandoned this method. What will happen the stone successfully hit the mango? The mango being ripe with undoubtedly be scarred and there are chances it will not break away from the branch. The sight of the fruit was so mouth-watering and elating that I did not want even a small dent on its surface. I wanted to pluck it, admire it, delicately peel and slice it, piece by piece and eat it, not wasting even a drop of its juice. I had to find some other method to get it before any bird does.

I picked up a stick that I found lying near the tree and tried to swing it in such a way that it strikes the stalk but not the mango. No luck! There were too many branches in the middle to maneuver the stick with the requisite angle and force. I threw the stick on the ground and stood there gazing at the fruit for a few moments trying to conjure up any other idea for getting that fruit out of that branch and into my hands. Nothing came to my mind except a big blank. The only thing my brain kept getting back to was trying to climb the tree. Now the people who know how to climb a tree know that climbing up is not the hard part, it is climbing down that is difficult. Devoid of any other option, I tried climbing the tree. It was hopeless; I kept skidding down.

Defeated, I thought of giving it one last try, gathered my energy and tried again. This time I went farther than any time I tried before. But SMACK! The fall was equally hard. Although it was not as high as to have done any serious damage, I landed directly on my left foot. A pain shot through from my leg. I had sprained my ankle! Dreading the cussing and scolding that was to come I slowly limped on one leg towards the door to the Drawing room of my home. With a thumping heart, I opened the door. My mother was sitting there watching some dumb Indian Soap opera with an hour episode consisting of at least 20 minutes of moving close up shots of the actors and 15 minutes of advertisements. She did not notice me limping through the door. I saw that she was engrossed in watching T.V. and so I decided to limp silently to the bedroom before she notices. To muffle the sound of my limping I stepped onto the carpet. Whenever any background music came onto the soap opera, which was plenty of times actually, I used it to limp towards the bedroom door.

I finally reached the door. Taking a huge sigh of relief I leaned on the door without realizing that doorstopper was not in place. CRASH! The door banged on the wall and I was on all fours on the ground. It was seconds before my mother came running inside and looking at me spread-eagled on the ground, her first reaction was narrowing her eyes with malice.

“Oh crap” I thought, as I knew what was about to come.

Before I knew it I was being helped up on my feet with the shrill scolding of how she cannot even sit calmly and idly even for a minute. She did not know that I sprained my ankle. And she can never know that I did that trying to climb the Mango tree outside. Taking a small loss for a short time is better than a big loss for a longer duration. So when she enquiringly looked at my leg while I stood there limping on my right leg, I told her that I put my right leg on the door to fold up my track pant bottoms and I did not realize the door stopper was not in place which crashed the door and I fell and sprained my left ankle.

I know right! What a pitiful excuse and she suspected it for some time but as she did not hear me limping back inside and there was nothing else in the bedroom which might indicate otherwise, she accepted my dumb excuse.

So for a few minutes, I got to hear the usual cussing and fussing while my foot was been treated to a bucketful of hot and salty water. But I was not paying attention. My falling and then my mother helping me up with her hand and me standing on one leg clutching her shoulder gave me an excellent idea!

After a whole day and a whole night’s rest, I started feeling a little better. The pain in my ankle was subsiding. After waking up the next day, I decided to test my idea. So I waited till noontime and then I silently went back outside with a plier, duct tape and thread. I reached the tree whereby I had dropped the stick and praying that no bird had eaten the fruit, I looked in the direction of the mango. It was still there – unscathed and uneaten. Relieved, I picked up the stick and started walking towards the fence.

I found and cut a small part of the thick iron wire jutting out of the fence, the removal of which will not cause any damage to the fence (there were many such places on the boundary). I took out the duct tape and tied the wire to the stick. For double precaution that it should not slip out, I left a small part of the exposed at the tied end and tightly tied that part to the stick using the thread applying three-four knots. I then used the pliers and started bending the free end of the wire attached to the stick in the form of a hook.

I took the stick to the tree. Maneuvering the stick, I placed the hooked end of the wire around the stalk of the mango and pulled. With a plucking sound, the mango dropped and I caught it. I placed the stick near the tree and feeling elated, I went back inside with the mango in my hand.

आज़ाद

कहते हैं कि भारतवर्ष में आज़ादी की आजकल नई घटा है छायी,
जब अपने ही वीर सपूतों की निंदा करने की कुछ लोगों ने है स्वतंत्रता पायी।
अपने ही हाथों जिनसे मातृभूमि का गला घोंटा जाता है,
उन लोगों को आजकल देश में आज़ाद कहा जाता है।

रहते हैं जो उच्च दबाव में, तूफानों में, वीरानों में, शून्य ताप से भी कम वाले उजियाले-अंधियारों में,
रहते हैं जो कई मास दूर माता के प्रेम पिता के आलिंगन से, किलकारियां लेते अपने बच्चों के भी बचपन से,
रहते हैं वे ताकि इस देश का शीश न झुकने पाए,
ताकि कोई भटका हुआ मानव किसी रोज़ अपने साथ शांति को ही न उड़ा जाये।

अरे तुम क्या जानो आज़ादी क्या होती है!

आज़ादी का अर्थ भी जानो,
यह लो मैं बताता हूं,
भूलो इसको मत तुम अब,
तुमको प्रतिबिम्ब दिखलाता हूँ।

जानो यह संग्राम ज़रा,
समझो, अपने शब्दों को पहचानो।
आज़ादी नहीं विदेशों की,
यह भारत के अंतरतम से आई थी,
जाओ पढ़ो इतिहास ज़रा,
पढ़ो, समझ कर यह जानो,
मिली यह जब वीर मतवालों ने,
गुलामी के खिलाफ भारी धूम मचाई थी।

तब नहीं कहते थे वे उन हालात पर,
"भारत तेरे टुकड़े होंगे" चीखकर हर बात पर।
जान हथेली पर लिए खेलते थे मौत से,
चढ़ जाते थे सूली देशभक्त हंसते हुए एक जोश से।
क्या उन क्रांतिकारियों के बलिदानों को तुम भूल गए?
क्या भगत , चंद्रशेखर, बोस और सुखदेव पीछे कहीं छूट गए?

आज़ादी एकतरफा नहीं, नहीं सिर्फ यह रईसों की,
आज़ादी गरीबों की, आज़ादी वीर सपूतों की,
आज़ादी विचार बड़ा, आज़ादी आने वाली पुश्तों की,
आज़ादी माताओं की, आज़ादी हमारी बहनों की,
आज़ादी भेदभाव रहित, आज़ादी स्वाभिमानी पुरुषों की,
आज़ादी जन-जन की , पराये और अपनों की।

मगर आज़ादी यह नहीं कि लोभ में देश को अपशब्द कहते जाओ,
आज़ादी यह नहीं कि समाज में राष्ट्र-विरुद्ध दुर्व्यवहार फैलाओ।
या फिर सुरक्षा को दुश्मनों के हाथ बेचते जाओ।

इसलिए तिहार जेल के कैदी आज़ाद नहीं कहलाते हैं,
क्योंकि आज़ादी के साथ मूल कर्तव्य भी आते हैं।

और आतंकियों का समर्थन करने वालों, तुम भी आज़ाद नहीं कहलाओगे।

पाप की परिभाषा

आज के कलियुग में जहाँ
पाप-व्यभिचार सदा-सद पलता है
इस शहर-उस शहर, हर नगर, हर देश से
हंसते-मुस्कराते, हाथ हिलाते, सिर उठा निकलता है।

राह चलते हुए राहगीरों को वह पकड़ता है
हर किसी के मन को वह अंततः जकड़ता है
और गलत राह पर ले जा कर वह अकड़ता है

(जो मन मे एक बार पाप को बसा लेता है तो उसे निकलना मुश्किल हो जाता है। पाप यहां मन में बैठ कर यह बता रहा है कि वह क्या है)

कहता है, "मैं हूं यहां, इस देश और विदेश में,
मैं ही वासना, मैं ही चिंता , मैं ही कुंठा, मैं ही मन के द्वेष में,
घूमता हूँ मैं यहां सब मानवों के वेश में!

और पार नहीं पा सकते हो तुम मुझसे या मेरे किसी भी नाम से,
नहीं निकल सकते फिर मेरे किसी काम के अंजाम से
घर कर लेता हूँ फिर मैं उस पवित्र आत्मा के रूप पे,
नहीं जा सकते हो तुम फिर ऊपर कहीं इस धाम से!

छोड़ूँगा तो नहीं मैं तुमको अपने किसी खयाल से,
और मुक्त नहीं होने दूंगा मैं तुमको माया के इस जाल से!
मैं खड़ा हूँ राह पर तुम्हारे बनकर एक आसान रास्ता,
हाथ थामोगे तो उठा दूंगा तुम्हारी सच्चाई पर से आस्था!

और तुम नहीं राम कि मुझको तुम मार सकोगे,
न ही तुम हो कृष्ण, न्याय की राह तुम पहचान सकोगे!
न तुम अर्जुन, न तुम भीष्म, न तुम धर्मराज हो,
न तुम लक्ष्मण, न तुम भरत, न रघुवंश तुम आज हो!

कहाँ पर भागोगे जब तुम्हारे मन को मैं हथियूंगा?
कितना पुण्य कर पाओगे जब हर ओर से घिर आऊंगा?
मैं ही था वो जिसने सदियों पहले मंदिरों को जलवाया था,
मैं ही था जिसने नालंदा और तक्षिला को मिटाया था,
मैं ही था वो जिसने मुगलों से खूनी खेल खिलवाया था,
वह भी मैं ही था जिसने चित्तोड़ दुर्ग में माताओं को आग में धकेला था,
और जालियांवाला के खूनी खेल का भी मैं कारण अकेला था!


फिर भी अचंभित होकर डरता हूँ खत्म हो जाऊंगा,
एक उम्मीद की छोटी किरण से भी जलकर भस्म हो जाऊंगा!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9ISBTgCjWo&t=82s

The Cloud's Flight

‘Pittar-pattar’ the rain drops fall,
From the clouds, its journey small,
towards the earth, smelling fresh.
It falls on the moor beyond that lifeless stream
where darker shadows loom in moonlight beams.

The drops form the pond,
Smaller, bigger; growing in bond
Falling in pit with each other,
Unity’s armour they donned.
Dark clouds gather above, they grow in size,
After joining one another, in lows and highs.

The earth was still before,
A crater in place,
Laying in the summer heat,
Barren, a hopeless space.
The clouds roamed above,
Proud and dark,
When nature taught it, a lesson stark.
Hidden inside is perspiration so wet,
It can wash away the troubles
of that forlorn pit and bless.
The cloud gurgles, it booms above,
The rain falls down, towards the ground,
So fast they fall, as if in love.
They bind together and form that stream,
That quenches the thirst, Of everyone in need.
And that pond too, which is formed,
Gave life to the earth, after that storm.

The clouds may grumble,
But none pay heed,
For it is also smiling and bright,
Not desolate or dark indeed.

It soars now quickly, boundless in the sky,
Watching the earth below Flourish,
a small heaven on the nigh’.
Heading towards another it gathers inside the life,
Some other place so desolate, so full of strife.
To end that pain it travels to another land,
Regardless of the boundaries created by man.

The Porn Market

Since the rise of the internet in the early 2000's, India has climbed onto the top of the list as the country having the 3rd largest consumption of Porn in the 2020, gaining rank as opposed to last year when it was the 4th largest consumer of porn (Source). It was no doubt that the consumption of porn used to be there a decade before this but different from the American market where this held a good part of market, the material was quite different and more local such as magazines and novels. The social structure allowed it to gain a good market share in that area attributing to the frowned upon social stance of people in this matter in India.

Viewership of Pornography in India:

Still, the industry was much more advanced in the U.S. The consumption of Porn was higher, more open, with a wide variety of stuff available to the general public. There were dedicated video stores which contained the Video Casettes, then CDs and then DVDs of various porn houses. U.S. is still the largest consumer of online porn followed by the United Kingdom followed by India. The funny thing about this is that India is the 3rd largest consumer of online porn which are created in the U.S. and elsewhere other than India where India has a significant lack of any major porn industry established within its boundaries. The content viewed online which contains people from India are either self recorded videos or Indian women working in the U.S. porn industry.

The online platforms having the largest viewerships in India are companies like PornHub.com and XVideos.com. Surprisingly, the most searched term on these online platforms in India, despite the heavy viewership of American porn, is 'Indian'.

(Pic credit: Indiatimes.com)

Women viewership for Porn:

Every guy at some point, mostly in his teenage years, have wondered what does women think about Porn. Due to the mentality of social stigma associated with this, especially in the Developing countries, women are often considered to be superior beings (believe me, the stigma originates more from the deep seeded belief that women are superior and sacred and much less from the mentality of oppressing them, at least in the educated world). However with time, as the world became more connected to each other and influence of the western culture, this stigma has significantly reduced compared to the last 30-40 years of time. So does women like to watch porn? Here are some statistics for that:

India enjoys a viewership of a staggering 30% women of the total consumers, still the 3rd largest women consumer base preceded by Philippines and Brazil with 35% women consumers of the total consumers.

This statistics is true even for the year 2020. According to a survey done by xhamster.com, another well known porn website, and the article published by forbes magazine says that about 30% of porn viewers are women. This shatters the earlier belief that most people who watch porn are lonely men. The survey also reveals that the people watching porn are actually people having healthy sex lives, women among them taking a more cultural approach to porn.
To top it all off, the survey reveals that women actually spent money on porn (Yeah! I was surprised too.)!
To quote the article - "Both men (64.1%) and women (62.8%) overwhelmingly said they spent no money on porn last year but 11.9% of women said that they spent over $1000. That number is nearly double the amount of men who said they spent that kind of money on porn in the previous year. The average woman spending on porn dishes out about $129 a year, while men averaged around $66."
The article can be found here.

The Future of Porn:

So what is the future of Porn? With the current trend, it seems that the content and methods are only going to become more innovative because let's face it, we are never going to stop watching porn. Unsurprisingly, 1 in 5 mobile searches is that for pornography. So what if it comes in the form of VR (Virtual Reality)? Exciting, isn't it? The thought is such an imaginative boner for porn lovers (pun intended).

If we believe an article published by Covenanteyes.com, "It’s projected that virtual reality (VR) porn should be a $1 billion business by the year 2025. That’s third behind an expected $1.4 billion virtual reality video game market and $1.23 billion VR NFL-related content."

There is much development that is done in the field of manufacturing sex toys. According to an article published online by BBC, about 60-65% of women uses sex toys while in the U.S. about 50% of males at some point in time have used a sex toy. "The global market in 2017 is estimated to have amounted to a whopping £18 billion. "
But it's not just for women, there are a lot of strides being done in the field of creating sex robots for men. A company called Realbotix, developed a sex doll in 2017 called Harmony 3.0 which had self-lubricating vagina, an internal heating system and touch sensors to coax a reaction in the AI in movement and sound, a fully realistic experience. Starting from the design of first 'Harmony' by Matt McMullen, the founder of Abyss Creations, which and I quote " has a tiny waist, a generous bosom and is so lifelike she’ll even orgasm during intercourse."
Interestingly, "In addition, customers can dictate their partner’s character choosing between 18 personality traits including shy, sensual, jealous, moody or talkative. The doll can be programmed to recite poetry for those who prefer a literary type, or crack jokes for customers who love a comedian." (Source: Article published in TheSun online).

For those having fat wallets and are interested - can buy Harmony "across the globe for the princely sum of £11,700."
So all in all, Cheers! Hope this info has fascinated you!

So is Porn Good or Bad?

It is as the saying goes - "Excess of everything is bad". Overall, what is necessary is to lead a healthy physical, mental and sexual life. Watching porn 3-4 times a week is fine, the problem arises when a person gets addicted to it.

If we believe the statistics shared by Covenanteyes.com in their Article, "68% of divorce cases involved one party meeting a new lover over the Internet. 56% involved one party having “an obsessive interest in pornographic websites. 70% of wives of sex addicts could be diagnosed with PTSD."
And this is not just it, "Prolonged exposure to pornography leads to:

- Diminished trust between intimate couples.
- Belief that promiscuity is the natural state.
- Lack of attraction to family and child-raising."

So, do it but in moderation. Be sure, not to lose touch with reality. The goal is to lead a good Sex life.

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यह प्रेम नहीं

(इस कविता में जो लिखा है उसका अर्थ तो समझिए ही साथ ही साथ उसके उलट जो आज के युग में होता है वह भी सोचिये)
(कविता को लयबद्ध पद्य की शैली में लिखा है, यदि उस लहजे से पढ़ा जाए तो अलग आनंद मिलेगा 🙂)

काल का चक्र जो चलता है,
किसी के लिए नहीं ये रुकता है,
किसी को ऊंचाई पर पहुंचाता है,
किसी को पैरों तले कुचलता है।


दुनिया में गलत बहुत सी रीति हैं,
क्यों समझते नहीं जीने का नाम युद्ध है, न कि प्रीति है,
संघर्ष की अग्नि में ध्यानमग्न जो होता है
सही समझता है - जीने का अर्थ संघर्ष है, अंधा प्रेम एक कुरीति है।
अब ठहरो! क्या इसका अर्थ जानना चाहोगे?
क्या इस कथन की गहराई को नापना तुम चाहोगे?
यदि हां तो सुनो, सोचो और आत्मदर्शन भी करते जाओ।
जो अब तक समझते थे उसको किनारे करते जाओ।


प्रेम एक शाश्वत विषय है,
तपते जीवन में आश्रय है,
मगर प्रेम का नाम जब लेते हो,
जीवन में क्या क्या कहते और करते हो।
इसकी व्याख्या तो अब धुल सी गयी है,
इस युग के अंधड़ से ज्योत तो इसकी बुझ सी गयी है।


वासना में बंधकर जीना प्रेम नहीं,
किसी को मुश्किलों की मझधार में छोड़ना प्रेम नहीं,
क्या सड़कों पर शाम को भूखे बच्चों को तुमने देखा है?
हाथों में हाथ डाल हंसते नज़रअंदाज़ करते उन सड़कों पर टहलना प्रेम नहीं।
नहीं है प्रेम अपनी शामों को व्यर्थ करना मदिरा अंकित जज्बातों पर,
अरे प्रेम तो है दुश्मन को ले कर मर मिटना भारत की इस माटी पर।
और जिसने सिखाये तुमको इस जमाने के अर्थ हैं उसको ठुकरा दो,
उनके पढ़ाये हुए उन खोखले आदर्शों को तुम दफना दो।
प्रेम नहीं बल्कि अपनापन साधारण मनुष्यों की अभिलाषा है,
प्रेम तो केवल कुछ वफादार जीवों की ही भाषा है।
इस आधुनिक युग का "प्रेम" बस एक ढोंग एक तमाशा है,
प्रेम का सत्य तो बस माता-पिता के कर्मों की परिभाषा है।
प्रेम नहीं समृद्धि में अग्रसर हो मूल्यों को भुलाते जाओ,
और प्रेम नहीं माता-पिता के परिश्रम से कमाए धन को लुटाते जाओ।


प्रेम है जो इस धरती के लिए ही बस जीते हैं,
प्रेम है वो जिनके दिन बस दूसरों के लिए ही बीते हैं,
प्रेम है जो समाज के उद्धार के लिए विष का प्याला पीते हैं।
प्रेम तो आपके सरलतम कार्यों में भी दिखता है,
प्रेम नहीं फेसबुक-इंस्टाग्राम की दुकानों पे बिकता है,
संघर्ष कर स्वयं को मजबूत करना प्रेम है एक,
अपने जीवनसाथी के त्यागों को मानना भर भी प्रेम है एक,
परिजनों की डांट को चुपचाप सुनना भी प्रेम है एक,
हर सुबह अपने-अपने कार्यालयों की तरफ निकलते हो
वृद्धों के लिए अपनी गाड़ी को रोकना भी प्रेम है एक,
सड़कों पर निकलते हुए वो वीर जवानों से भरी गाड़ियां देखी हैं?
नज़र उठाकर कुछ पलों के लिए सलाम करना भी प्रेम है एक।


रोज़ाना के जीवन से हताश जब हो जाते हो,
रात को कराह लेकर जब तुम सो जाते हो,
ऐसी दिनचर्या जीने में भी बलिदान है एक,
आपके कर के पैसों से देश चलता है, यह भी प्रेम है एक।

सब चुप क्यों हैं?

(कल्पना करिए आप 12-15 वर्ष पहले के भारत में हैं। जैसे जैसे मैं समय में आगे बढूंगा आप समझते जाएंगे)

रोज़ाना चलते जीवन के यापन में,

सब चुप क्यों हैं?

अंतर्द्वंद के स्थापन से भी,

सब चुप क्यों हैं?

 

सर उठा कर देखते हैं जब लोग,

पता लगता है कि रास्ते तो अब खाली है।

खुली आंख से देखते दुनिया को,

संसार की हालत भी निराली है।

आकाश में लोभ के पंछी दिखाई पड़ते हैं,

अपनों के परिवेश में पराये दिखाई पड़ते हैं,

चहुँ ओर स्वार्थ की धुंध का विस्तार है,

मंदिरों की जगह मैखाने दिखाई पड़ते हैं।

सत्य के वाक्यों में बहाने दिखाई पड़ते हैं,

झूठ की हवा भी क्या चली है,

मित्रों में अब अनजाने दिखाई पड़ते हैं।

कौन कहे सत्य और निष्ठा के लक्षण सुप्त क्यों हैं।

जानते हुए भी न जाने सब चुप क्यों हैं?

 

भारतवर्ष के भीतर भी दुश्मन हैं,

द्वेष और क्रोध से भरे ये जाते हैं,

क्षति पहुंचती है जब देश को,

मुख खोल ये गधे-सा मुस्कुराते हैं।

राष्ट्रहित की बात जब होती है,

झूठ फैला ये दंगे भड़काते हैं,

आतंकियों के मरने पर ये,

काली पट्टी बांध संसद में आते हैं,

जी भर के ये आंसू बहाते हैं,

और वर्षों तक बिरयानी उन्हें खिलाते हैं,

AFSPA और TADA जैसे कानून भी हटाते हैं।

तब, आतंकी इतने मुक्त क्यों थे?

ये देख उस समय सब चुप क्यों थे?

 

जब बढ़ा था अंधकार बहुत,

सरकार में आया था अहंकार बहुत,

जनता ने बाहुबल दिखाया था,

लोकतंत्र को सार्थक करवाया था।

उद्दंडता की जब पराकाष्ठा थी,

वंशवाद से मुक्ति की आकांक्षा थी,

विधान-पटल पर सर्द शीत छाई थी,

सरकार जब वामपंथ की अनुयायी थी,

भूमि आतंकित हो दहलाई थी,

पूरे देश की बात तो छोड़िए,

सिर्फ मुम्बई ही कई हमलों से थर्राई थी।

सेना को ज्यादातर निष्क्रियता के आदेश क्यों थे?

नेतृत्व करने वाले तब चुप क्यों थे?

 

संसार का यही नियम है मित्र,

बदलाव ही केवल स्थिरता है मित्र,

वर्षों की विचारधारा से जब अति हो जाती है,

उन्नति की राह में वह अनुपयुक्त हो जाती है।

बदलाव से वही लोग तो डरते हैं,

लूटपाट के स्थापित साधन जिनके हाथ से फिसलते हैं।

विकास के लिए बस इतनी बात ही काफी है,

सिर्फ सौ अपराध की माफी है,

नेतृत्व कोई भी हो -

जब सत्ता शिशुपाल बन जाएगी,

जनता से माफी नहीं वह पाएगी,

द्वेष में दुर्व्यवहार बढ़ेगा जिसका,

सुदर्शन से सर कटेगा उसका।

 

देखें, देखें असत्य के लिए वे कितनी आवाज़ उठाएंगे,

देखें उनके चेले कितनी गोली चलाएंगे,

देखें वे कब तक रक्षकों का लहू बहा पाएंगे,

देखें वे कितने जनों को गुमराह कर पाएंगे,

देखें अपने ढकोसलों से कब तक - "आज़ादी" के नारे लगाएंगे,

देखें वे कब तक पत्थर उठाएंगे,

देखें वे कब तक बसों को जलाएंगे,

देखें वे कितनी पुलिस चौकियों में आग लगाएंगे,

देखें भले लोग भी, आखिर कब तक शांति का पाठ पढ़ाएंगे,

देखें हम सब भी आखिर, कब तक चुप रह पाएंगे।

पार तो फिर भी करना होगा

Inspired from and Dedicated to Shri Atal Bihari Vajpayee

हो राह में यदि आकाश,
सूर्य की तरफ उड़ना होगा,
बीच तड़ित से चमकते बादलों को
पार तो फिर भी करना होगा।

जब नदी में हो वेग गजब,
और नौका फंसी मझधारों में,
धैर्य तो फिर भी धरना होगा,
पार तो फिर भी करना होगा।

विपरीत दिशा की धारा में,
चप्पू चलाते रहना होगा,
प्रखर प्रवाह से टकराएगा पानी तब भी,
पार तो फिर भी करना होगा।

अवरोध बनी हो चट्टानें पथ पर,
उठ, पंख फैला कर उड़ना होगा,
चढ़ कर नहीं तो कूद कर ही सही,
पार तो फिर भी करना होगा।

जीवन नहीं होता किसी के लिए आसान,
जीने का अर्थ समझना होगा,
हाथ बढ़ाकर ही, छीन के अवसर लेना होगा,
पार तो फिर भी करना होगा।

परेशानी-तकलीफें तो आएंगी,
इनसे सीख जीने का आनंद लेना होगा,
हीरा बनने के लिए संघर्ष-अनल में जलना होगा,
पार तो फिर भी करना होगा।

जब भूमि जलते अंगारे हो,
दृष्टि में कहीं न ठंडे किनारे हों,
तब हृदय को पत्थर बना इस अग्निपथ से गुजरना होगा,
यह अग्निपरीक्षा तो देना होगा।

पार तो फिर भी करना होगा
पार तो फिर भी करना होगा।

Men without Women

This isn't one of my stories. However I found it on the net while I was browsing upon the topics of human psyche and somehow got here. The story wasn't one of those cock-and-bull stories where the guy gets the girl in the end or where the focus is primarily upon women and their feelings (as if men don't have feelings, or just don't matter). But it showed a glimpse of the male psyche - of "the nice guys", the trials and tribulations they face going through life unloved though most deserving of it - yes they exist and in a bulk. The title is my own though.

He wasn’t very good with women.

Not that, you know, he had a problem. No. It was nothing like that.

Sometimes he would read articles about the kind of men that formed misogynist groups –men who had terrible body odor or perhaps a club foot, things like that — and feel a profound sense of thankfulness that he was different. No, he was a regular man, well-formed enough, just a little nervous in his interactions with women.

His first real crush had been on a girl in high school — grey eyes, he remembered, and a body that all the seniors talked about- and he’d suffered it quietly, not dreaming that he could do anything about it. Not in high school, when he’d had constellations of pimples and the hint of an overbite. He’d always been intelligent, he did exceptionally well in school, but that didn’t count for much with teenage girls. He resigned himself to being sexless in high school, but he had hope that things would change in adulthood: that the cliché of reinventing yourself could hold true.

It did, kind of. He grew a little taller — though he knew five feet nine inches didn’t really qualify him as tall — and he filled out some in the shoulders. The thought of going to the gym intimidated him: he couldn’t relate to the kind of men who lifted weights there and interrogated each other about their macros. There was a primitiveness to it, a kind of performativity that he found distasteful.

He could grow facial hair now: he thought that this added a quality of intensity to his face that women would appreciate. He’d never had a real girlfriend, though, and he wondered why. Once, a teacher had told him that he could come off abrasive, as if he was judging the students who didn’t do so well on assignments as him. He supposed this was true, but he secretly thought that people should be able to see past that façade: in truth he was not at all judgmental. Cerebral men, he knew, were often mistaken to be harsh.

There was Jane, in college. Jane was the closest he had come. They’d met in Greek Drama, a course he’d taken only because it fit into his weird schedule. (Much to his surprise, he had loved it: he thought that the Greeks had the right idea about the tragedy of existence.) She had dark hair, long dark hair, and she wasn’t good-looking, but she came very close to it if you paid attention.

He’d struck up a conversation after class one day, and she’d agreed to get coffee. Coffee turned into a drink, and he found himself wondering how to ask her back to his room. Though, of course, he wouldn’t. That was a reckless idea, just something to toy with; he wasn’t the sort of man who could convince a girl to go home with him on the first date.

As he remembered, it had taken three to get her into bed. When she’d finally hesitated and said, Okay, let’s go home, he’d felt a funny swooping sensation somewhere in his chest.

Jane had had a beautiful body, he remembered. Underneath the slightly conservative clothes she favored (an anomaly on a campus where every second girl was dressed sexily), her body had been lush, cold to the touch like a statue. She hadn’t had much sexual experience either, and this put him more at ease. For a while, they fumbled awkwardly in dorm rooms, and made plans to watch movies together. He enjoyed spending time with her: she was undemanding in a way that he wouldn’t have expected. He didn’t want to spend every waking moment together, and he wasn’t the particularly demonstrative type, but she didn’t ask for more.

He wasn’t sure why Jane changed her mind, but she did. She told him one day — shading her eyes as if she were pained- that she didn’t think this was going anywhere.

“Okay,” he said, caught off guard. He didn’t know what else to say: was he supposed to try and change her mind? She wanted more, she said, but this was a statement that confused him. He hadn’t thought about the future of their relationship, but he also wasn’t averse to the idea of a girlfriend. Maybe he’d been wrong about J. being undemanding, maybe she’d had some notion of romance that he couldn’t provide. At the time, it didn’t cut him too deeply. He’d shrugged and moved on, thinking that her expectations would likely lead to disappointment in the future.

After college, he had found it difficult to get dates. He had joined dating sites, in an effort to improve his chances. He read articles about what women thought were red flags: one of them was a meager dating bio.

Nobody could complain about him. Wasn’t that enough? He represented himself fairly accurately, he thought. His bio was about the shows he liked, the kind of music he listened to. He didn’t lie about his age and he didn’t use old photographs, as some women complained of men doing. And yet, when he sent women messages — which were unfailingly polite- they often went unanswered. The ones that did turn into conversations tended to flag (How was your day? How was yours? I’m doing well, how about you?), and then die.

He found this pattern exhausting, but he kept at it, knowing dating required effort. He set aside ten minutes each day to message women who he thought were attractive but also intelligent. (He had devised various conversational tests in order to weed out frivolous women, but he rarely had the chance to use these.) It was fine, he told himself, he didn’t need to have a lot of sex, he had his job, which kept him satisfied. Every time he felt the urge to have sex, he watched porn: video after video, until he had come two or three times and he felt a pleasant soreness steal over him.

There was one woman that seemed more promising than the others. The woman’s name was Sara, and she was very pretty, with bangs that fell severely across her pale forehead. She had two dogs — he liked that — and she said that she had zero expectations from dating sites, because she always had bad luck on them.

“What do you do, Sara?” he asked late one night, when he was tired from work and feeling a little lonely. He looked at her photographs for the tenth time, wondering if they would meet in real life.

“I’m an astrologer,” came the reply. He sent a laughing emoji, but it turned out she was serious.

“Really? Wow. I’ve never met an astrologer.”

He was confused about where she worked: he hadn’t thought that there were many job openings for astrologers these days. When he asked her about it, she replied rather brusquely, and he was confused by her sudden coolness toward him: he had only been trying to learn more about astrology. He hadn’t even said what he really thought, which was that astrology was fake science for sad people, and that it turned him off Sara slightly to know that she believed in it. More than believed in it, peddled it to other idiots for money. He could, he supposed, overlook it for now.

After a day or two of messaging, she resumed her old manner toward him, and he was pleased: she’d agreed to meet him for ice-cream at a new place. Waiting for her in a booth at the back, he began to feel slightly nervous. It didn’t help that the lights in the restaurant were garish: they contrasted poorly with the enforced cheeriness of the walls.

“Hi,” she sang as she came up, unwinding a too-large scarf from about her neck. “I’m sorry, traffic was terrible…”

He liked her voice, breathy as it was. She was just as pretty in person, prettier still, and he suddenly felt a pang of insecurity about his own looks. He wondered whether she thought he was attractive, whether other people thought they looked good together. Would they think she was his cousin, or his girlfriend?

“Nice restaurant,” he said.

“Isn’t it!”

“I’m being sarcastic,” he said, amazed that she hadn’t picked up on his tone of voice. He wondered if she was as intelligent as he’d thought. “It looks like the inside of a creepy clown van. There’s something so off-putting about kiddie décor when you’re an adult.”

“Oh,” she said, strangely. “Okay.”

The conversation dipped slightly after that — she hadn’t liked that clown remark. He felt wounded somehow: he’d just been trying to be witty. Anyway, they had the night to get through. He’d been hoping she would laugh at his jokes, at least.

“How’d you get into astrology?” He remembered to ask her about her work, and the conversation continued from there. They talked about their jobs while they ate large sundaes (his had been unexpectedly good; she couldn’t finish hers). It was a good conversation, but she was subdued, more subdued than she’d seemed online. He brought up a number of topics, and was happy to discover that she could keep up with him. She might have been an astrologer, but he found her to be intelligent, well-informed and passionately curious about the world.

“Have you been single long?” she asked him.

He wondered why she was asking, whether she suspected that he had trouble dating. He told her about Jane, realizing to his surprise that he missed her. (He left out the fact that he’d been with Jane in college.)

She seemed sympathetic, nodding her head and telling him that she could relate, that she always seemed to be the one getting broken up with. All her friends were married, she said, and she felt as though she had been left behind in the playground after school, that nobody was coming for her. He pictured her being lonely at home, with sad music in the background, crying. The image endeared her to him.

Afterward, she said, “Well, I’ve got to be going home.”

He was disappointed. 

“Do you — I mean, would you want to do this again? Maybe we could get drinks?”

“Sure,” she said, with a quick smile and a nod. “I’ll text you.”

He wondered whether that was a good sign. Was it better or worse than “Text me?” He had a feeling from her demeanor — so businesslike and brisk, in contrast with how she’d been at the beginning of the date- that it wasn’t a good sign.

The next day, he decided to go out for lunch by himself. He wanted a distraction. As he ate his way through a large plate of pasta, he listened to the conversation at the next table. They were a raucous group of young women: all drinking cocktails that made them rowdier. One of them was telling a story about a one-night stand.

“He wasn’t six feet, he’d lied about it… No, but I was wearing my heels, and you don’t understand, I was taller than him! No!”

He was getting a headache from their laughter.

“He was kind of audacious — he spilled a drink down my top, and said I’ll get that later…The nerve! I wanted to slap him by times, but he really was good in bed…”

A sort of madness came over him, and he turned around and said “So why did you sleep with him if he was annoying you?”

They stared at him as if he were a slug oozing on to their car window. “I’m sorry?” said the girl who had spoken. She had huge sunglasses on, and he felt at a disadvantage not being able to see her expression.

“It sounds like he was a real jerk. So why did you sleep with him? It doesn’t make sense.”

All of their faces were sour, pinched and disgusted. “I’m sorry,” said the girl in the sunglasses nastily. “I guess I missed the part where my sex life was your business.”

He mumbled something that sounded like Sorry and turned back to his plate. He wondered what on earth had gotten into him, why he’d said that to a complete stranger.

When he got home, he wondered if a girl like that — like the one at brunch — would ever be interested in a man like him. It was a pity, because despite her shallow, bitchy attitude, she had been pretty, in that tight dress that cut so low over her breasts…He was aroused now, and he masturbated thinking about her under him in bed.

When Sara called him two days later, he was faintly surprised. But she sounded perky, suggesting that they meet for a drink. He could pick the bar this time, she said, since he hadn’t liked her choice of ice-cream place.

He wondered whether he should apologize for that, but decided it was too inconsequential to acknowledge.

“Okay,” he said. “I’ll meet you there.”

When she showed up, he felt underdressed — she was wearing a black dress with glimmering earrings, and her hair was swept neatly up off her face. She didn’t say anything about his hoodie, though, and soon they were sitting beside each other and chatting in familiar fashion.

They drank too much that night — much too much. First they killed a bottle of wine, and then drank shots of a pure tequila she’d wanted to try. He hadn’t been planning to drink that much, but every time the waiter came back and offered them another round, they’d agreed.

“There’s something so depressing,” she said, “about going home early on a Friday. You feel as if you’ve left a party for nothing.”

He said “Let’s go back to my place,” his heart hammering in his chest. He tossed off the last shot sitting on the table, scared to look her in the eye.

“Okay,” she said, with a tiny smile. “I guess we could do that.”

The whole way there, they laughed and held hands, his boldness increasing with every minute. When they got in, he was thankful he’d remembered to clean his bedroom, and he kissed her, uncertainly at first and then harder. She responded eagerly, wrapping her hands around his neck.

He lay her down on the bed and unzipped that black dress, almost tearing it off her in his hurry. She winced a little, but said nothing: he undid his own jeans and began kissing her, thrusting his tongue into her soft cool mouth that tasted of wine. Yes, his brain shouted, this was what he’d been waiting for, it had been so long, he’d forgotten how this felt…

He realized that there was a problem just before she did. She sat up, looking at him with an expression he couldn’t understand.

“It’s the wine,” he mumbled. “It just takes a minute…”

She said cautiously, “Can I do anything?”

He grabbed her head, desperate to overcome this humiliation, and thrust it down toward his crotch.

“Ah,” he moaned, “just like that…more, take it all in your mouth, keep going…”

But it wasn’t working, he knew, and no matter how much he willed the words to come true he was still soft. After a couple of minutes he pushed her off him.

“You drank too much, you’re not doing it properly…I can’t get hard like this.”

She seemed to understand — at least there was a gleam of understanding in her dark eyes. She got up and reached for her dress, which looked like a puddle by his bed. The sight of it irritated him beyond measure.

“You aren’t going to see me again, are you?” he said, wanting only to know the truth. He wanted to hear her admit that she would not give him another chance, that he had sabotaged their relationship with his failing anatomy.

“I-I don’t know,” she said, looking away.

“That means No. Be honest, for once.”

“Maybe not,” she said, the words sounding forced and artificial. “I don’t know if we’re compatible.”

“Fine,” he said bitterly, pulling on his pants, wanting nothing more than for her to be gone, for her to stop looking at him. “I’m going to the bathroom, you can see yourself out.”

When she had gone, and he was in his bed, he thought about the encounter, wondering what he could have done differently. There wasn’t anything, he concluded, she’d made up her mind…

At first he felt sorrow at the knowledge that the situation couldn’t be salvaged, but it turned just as quickly to anger and then a feeling of vindication. He was, as he had always suspected, unlovable, sarcastic and harsh in a way that women didn’t like, that they weren’t willing to put up with. It was, he thought, a fundamental failure in women: their need to swim in the shallow side of the water; their unwillingness to swim out deeper in order to comprehend him. His disposition had doomed him to a life of solitude, and he thought to himself that that was fine, that abandoning a game you couldn’t win was the mark of wisdom. He lay awake, staring into the hot night, congratulating himself on not being like other men.